Thu. May 23rd 5:00am
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
HAPPY BIRTHDAY: To his chagrin, Oliver learns he shares his birthday with Arnold Ziffle. While Oliver's convinced he's going to be feted with a surprise party, he refuses to spread the joy by getting a gift for the pig.
Thu. May 23rd 5:30am
JEALOUSY, ENGLISH STYLE
JEALOUSY, ENGLISH STYLE: Eb won't stop badgering "Dad" to buy him a car, though an increasingly irritated Oliver keeps saying no. Meanwhile, Lisa is busy lavishing gifts on little Lori. Feeling he's been replaced in the Douglas family, a dejected Eb runs away to find a new job.
Fri. May 24th 5:00am
THE CITY KIDS
THE CITY KIDS: Four children from the city spend a week on the farm the Douglases. While Oliver teaches them to plant seeds and milk a cow, Lisa falls in love with the little girl of the group, Lori. The two bond over a batch of banana jelly.
Fri. May 24th 5:30am
THE COMING OUT PARTY
THE COMING OUT PARTY: Lori, the little girl who missed the train back to the city, is staying with the Douglases. Lisa's plan to introduce her to the local children by having a party and gets out of hand; the festivities grow to include Haney giving biplane rides. While Oliver fights to downsize her event, he searches for a replacement part for his ancient tractor.
Fri. May 24th 10:00am
A SQUARE IS NOT ROUND
A SQUARE IS NOT ROUND: The Douglases try to determine which of their hens is laying square eggs. Once word gets out, Haney and a chicken breeder both want in on the action. Oddly, the cube-shaped eggs don't worry Oliver nearly as much as their toaster that operates when you say the number "five".
Sat. May 25th 1:00pm
HIS HONOR
HIS HONOR: Oliver misunderstands when the Hooterville bigwigs ask him to be a judge. He thinks he's being appointed an appellate judge but they just want him to judge apples at the county fair. The Douglases travel to New York so Oliver can get some judging advice while Lisa shops for a robe and wig for His Honor.
Sat. May 25th 1:30pm
NEVER TRUST A LITTLE OLD LADY
NEVER TRUST A LITTLE OLD LADY: It's tomato planting season and Oliver needs some useful weather information. Hooterville relies on WPIXL-TV's Mildred, a little old lady who prances out of her dollhouse, or Walter, the singing weatherman. Both are constantly wrong so Oliver contacts the Weather Bureau which predicts warm days and nights. With the plants in the ground, Hooterville suffers the coldest night of the year. Incredibly, it's Lisa's crepe suzettes that save the crop from the cold.
Mon. May 27th 5:00am
ED’S DOUBLE TROUBLE
ED’S DOUBLE TROUBLE: The new schoolteacher, Carol, arrives in Hooterville and Eb is in love. He'd asked his current girlfriend, Darlene, to the dance weeks earlier, but now wants to go with Carol. After seeking and ignoring advice from Oliver, Eb listens to Mr. Haney and tells Darlene that he has a wife in Racine, Wisconsin. Darlene's father, angry over this little revelation, takes his displeasure out on Oliver's nose.
Mon. May 27th 5:30am
A ROYAL LOVE STORY
A ROYAL LOVE STORY: Lisa tells Lori yet another version of how she and Oliver met. In this one, she was living in a Paris apartment with her father, the deposed King of Hungary. While he was plotting his return to power, Lisa was working as a waitress at a sidewalk cafe when Oliver stopped by for six bottles of champagne. The King wants her to marry a baron who will bankroll his army, but Lisa loves poor American Oliver Douglas.
Tue. May 28th 5:00am
OLIVER GOES BROKE
OLIVER GOES BROKE: After saying good-bye to Lori at the airport, a distraught Lisa seeks a job to fill her days. When Haney spots her applying at the County Welfare office, he assumes she's there for the free soup. Soon, Hooterville's convinced "dumb dumb" Oliver has lost his money and sent his wife out to find a job.
Tue. May 28th 5:30am
APPLE PICKING TIME
APPLE PICKING TIME: Oliver has his first good apple crop, but the valley has no pickers. He suggests the farmers take turns picking each others' crops, but by the time they get to him, they're worn out. Compounding his problems, Lisa's driving lessons include an unplanned wreck with a sheriff's car.
Tue. May 28th 10:00am
SCHOOL DAYS
SCHOOL DAYS: Oliver spends a lot of time in the principal's office when Lisa enrolls at Hooterville High. In school primarily for a cooking course, she also disrupts history class with her own version of Hungary's past, distroys the womens' showers and explodes a chemistry lab.
Wed. May 29th 5:00am
ENTERPRISING EB
ENTERPRISING EB: Eb learns that $538 is not enough to build a house on the two acres the Douglases gave him and Darlene. His schemes to raise a down payment include turning the the Douglas farm into a bed and breakfast, a dump, and a trailer camp.
Wed. May 29th 5:30am
OLIVER’S DOUBLE
OLIVER’S DOUBLE: A bank robber hiding out in Pixley is an Oliver Douglas look-alike. When Eb spots the crook kissing his moll, he accuses Oliver of cheating on "Mom". Things get more confusing when Oliver's hauled in on suspicion of being the holdup man.
Wed. May 29th 10:00am
EXODUS TO BLEEDSWELL
EXODUS TO BLEEDSWELL: The residents of Hooterville flock to nearby Bleedswell for jobs at the new defense plant. To keep people from leaving, Hooterville reopens its old airplane factory to fulfill its contract with the Army--signed during WWI.
Wed. May 29th 10:30am
IT’S HUMAN TO BE HUMANE
IT’S HUMAN TO BE HUMANE: Bored and looking for a project, Lisa becomes the head of the "Hooterville Human Humane Committee". She takes her cause to the extreme, declaring everything from duck hunting to selling chicken eggs off limits. Soon, the Douglases house is a zoo and the locals are ready to run her out of town.
Thu. May 30th 5:00am
THE HIGH COST OF LOVING
THE HIGH COST OF LOVING: Wanting a better paying career, Eb enters the accounting program of a correspondence school. When they mistakenly enroll him in their acting course, Eb belives it's destiny calling. Despite a disasterous attempt at makeup, he studies by to dramatizing everyday events; a boring meal becomes dinner with King Louis XIV with Lisa as his serving "wrench".
Thu. May 30th 5:30am
THE LIBERATION MOVEMENT
THE LIBERATION MOVEMENT: After Lisa hears a women's liberation speaker, she demands that Oliver share the household chores while she runs the farm. While he meets with nothing but red tape while trying to build a tool shed, Lisa gets the permit and completes the building with ease. A skeptical Oliver is in disbelief that his wife is so successful at "men's work".
Fri. May 31st 5:00am
THE GREAT MAYORALTY CAMPAIGN
THE GREAT MAYORALTY CAMPAIGN: Mayorial candidate Oliver Douglas faces an opponent when the Hooterville women nominate Lisa to run. While the men plot to improve Oliver's image, Ralph Monroe wages a campaign of dirty tricks against him that includes hotscake batter in his hat and an appearance by Lady Godiva.
Fri. May 31st 5:30am
CHARLIE, HOMER AND NATASHA
CHARLIE, HOMER AND NATASHA: Oliver won't take Lisa to New York for a big party, but the issue isn't over. She conspires with Eb to invent new invisible friends, hoping the scheme will end with a trip to the city to visit a psychiatrist.
Mon. Jun 3rd 5:00am
THE ENGAGEMENT RING
THE ENGAGEMENT RING: Eb is sent packing when Darlene's dad learns he proposed to is daughter with a watch fob instead of a ring. Lisa gives Eb the $2000 ring Oliver used to get engaged to her and everyone is happy--until the father has the ring appraised.
Mon. Jun 3rd 5:30am
THE FREE PAINT JOB
THE FREE PAINT JOB: Oliver's happy to let a paint company put a fresh coat on the house as an advertising stunt. But to everyone's suprise, the wood is so porous, it sucks up the paint as quickly as it's applied. In the kitchen, Lisa is taking three weeks to practice cooking spaghetti and meatballs for Oliver's birthday.
Tue. Jun 4th 5:00am
SON OF DROBNY
SON OF DROBNY: Hooterville throws a celebration for the son of a war hero who Lisa claims delivered secret messages during WWII. Oliver tries to tell them that Drobney is just a "dumb duck" sent to them by Lisa's father, but they think he's just being a sorehead.
Tue. Jun 4th 5:30am
LISA, THE PSYCHOLOGIST
LISA, THE PSYCHOLOGIST: Lisa and Oliver each take a college course in Pixley. Oliver chooses one dealing with farming while Lisa studies psychology. After just a few lessons, everyone in Hooterville is running to "Doctor Lisa", who solves their problems with logical reasoning. An exasperated Oliver's had enough when he has to make an appointment just to see his wife.
Wed. Jun 5th 5:00am
THE CARPENTER’S BALL
THE CARPENTER’S BALL: Ralph wants Hank to ask her to the Carpenter's Ball, but he comes up with feeble excuses to avoid going. Planning to get the two together at the event, Lisa asks Hank to be her date to the party. In no time, Hooterville is convinced that the Douglases' marriage is on the rocks and that Lisa and Hank are running off to Acapulco.
Wed. Jun 5th 5:30am
STAR WITNESS
STAR WITNESS: While in Pixley with the Douglases, Arnold witnesses a hold-up of the Pixley Bank. With his voice gone from squealing, a hoarse Arnold is unable to describe the crooks to the sheriff. The robbers learn that one Arnold Ziffle can identify them, so they come to the Douglas farm to silence him for good. They mistakenly kidnap Eb, not realizing that it was a pig who was the whole thing.
Thu. Jun 6th 5:00am
THE WEDDING DEAL
THE WEDDING DEAL: With just two weeks until their wedding, Eb and Darlene still don't have a location for the ceremony. Mr. Haney's first suggestion, to have it for free at a car wash, doesn't wash. His second scheme, which comes complete with a household of furniture, gets Eb's signature on the dotted line. Darlene's father, however, refuses to let her get married on television in a furniture emporium's front window.
Thu. Jun 6th 5:30am
HAWAIIAN HONEYMOON
HAWAIIAN HONEYMOON: Lisa cons Oliver into taking a 'fifth' honeymoon together, this time in Hawaii. When they check into the honeymoon suite, they are unaware that the hotel manager's daughter, has given her friends the suite for their honeymoon also. Since the suite has two bedrooms it's just a case of both couples avoiding each other while on their honeymoon(s), for a while anyway.
Fri. Jun 7th 5:00am
THE SPOT REMOVER
THE SPOT REMOVER: Lisa's Uncle Boris sends her a jar of his incredibly effective cleaning fluid. It removes stains from suit coats and rugs, not to mention green from toupees. Seeing dollar signs, Haney sneaks a sample and has it analyzed; the secret formula ends up being a magical recipe for cabbage soup.
Fri. Jun 7th 5:30am
A GIRL FOR DROBNY
A GIRL FOR DROBNY: Lisa concludes that Drobny, the duck she received from her uncle in Hungary, is lonesome. She invites Arnold over to play with him, but alas, the language barrier is too great to overcome. Lisa's next plan is get Drobny a girlfriend, so she talks Oliver into buying a female duck from Mr. Haney. Soon, love is in bloom for Drobny and Gertrude.
Sat. Jun 8th 1:00pm
A KIND WORD FOR THE PRESIDENT
A KIND WORD FOR THE PRESIDENT: Irritated by complaints and about how much money he's losing, Oliver raises the rates at the Hooterville Phone Company. His top priority, however, is getting the Monroe brothers to connect his own phone inside the house. Meanwhile, Lisa discovers the magic of cooking dehydrated food.
Sat. Jun 8th 1:30pm
NOT GUILTY
NOT GUILTY: Sam Drucker calls the law when he discover $300 is missing from his safe. With the investigation pointing only to Frank Nitti, Eb is finally charged when he shows up in a car he paid $300 for and can't recall who gave him the money to buy it.
Mon. Jun 10th 5:00am
THE HOLE IN THE PORCH
THE HOLE IN THE PORCH: Oliver's temporary fix on his dryrotted front porch proves pointless when Kimball removes the new board and promptly falls through. The injured patient, recuperating in the Douglases' bedroom, becomes a major aggrivation with his constant kazoo playing, fawning nursemaid Ralph, and his "attorney" Mr. Haney trying to soak Oliver for $50,000.
Mon. Jun 10th 5:30am
EX-SECRETARY
EX-SECRETARY: Oliver contacts Carol, his one-time secretary, to find out where she'd had his watch repaired years earlier. In this pilot for a proposed series, Carol now works for a California realtor. She prevents her current boss from being conned by man that Oliver Douglas had tried to indict back in New York.
Tue. Jun 11th 5:00am
KING OLIVER 1
KING OLIVER 1: With the state bankrupt, the governor rases taxes by 52% and shuts down most services. Hooterville responds by blowing up the bridge out of town and seceding from the state. The residents start their own monarchy, annointing Mr. Douglas as King Oliver I.
Tue. Jun 11th 5:30am
OLIVER BUYS A FARM
OLIVER BUYS A FARM: New York lawyer Oliver Douglas quits his job at the law firm of Felton, O'Connell, Clay, Blakely, Harmon, Dillion & Pasteur and buys a farm in Hooterville, sight unseen. The locals are astounded that Haney had managed to unload the place on someone and try to talk him out of it. Laying her eyes on the dilapidated farmhouse for the first time, Lisa bursts into tears.
Wed. Jun 12th 5:00am
LISA’S FIRST DAY ON THE FARM
LISA’S FIRST DAY ON THE FARM: Lisa gets her first look at their dilipidated--and empty--farmhouse and is horrified. Oily Mr. Haney, who previously owned the dump, took everything with him, including the bathroom fixtures, and tries to resell them to Oliver. Eb, one of Haney's workers, is hired on as their farm hand. Lisa goes out to meet the locals, most of whom have entered a pool wagering on how long the Douglases will stay. Lisa is ready to immediately return to New York, but after a chat with Kate Bradley, she decides to give farm life a try.
Wed. Jun 12th 5:30am
THE DECORATOR
THE DECORATOR: Oliver wants to start farming but Lisa demands he have their house redecorated first. Sam Drucker recommends a decorator from Pixley. Kate Bradley tries to tutor Lisa in the kitchen since she doesn't know the first thing about cooking. Kate starts by showing her how to make something easy: hotscakes. Adding to the chaos is Oliver's mother, who arrives to rescue Lisa from her nightmarish country life.
Thu. Jun 13th 5:00am
THE BEST LAID PLANS
THE BEST LAID PLANS: While Oliver makes plans to get the farm in working order, Lisa travels to New York to pack up their furniture. The Hooterville locals begin gossiping, assuming Lisa left him for good. While she's in the city, Oliver's mother connects her with an architect who designs an extravagant country club.
Thu. Jun 13th 5:30am
MY HUSBAND THE ROOSTER RENTER
MY HUSBAND THE ROOSTER RENTER: Mr. Haney rents Bertram the rooster to Oliver for fifty cents a day. Unfortunately, he's a "pecker", not a "crower", so he also gets a chicken named Alice. Oliver then sets about getting a phone installed in the kitchen (though the line won't be connected for three months), the plumbing and roof fixed, and electricity via a rickety power generator. Mr. Douglas also meets his county farm agent, the absent-minded Hank Kimball, who takes some soil samples for analyzing.
Fri. Jun 14th 5:00am
FURNITURE, WHOSE GOT FURNITURE?
FURNITURE, WHOSE GOT FURNITURE?: Oliver's mother sends the Douglases their furniture from New York, while she also rides down to visit them. While Oliver and Lisa wait for the furniture to arrive, Eunice is stuck with Uncle Joe on his handcar, getting to Hooterville. Things go bad to worse when Eunice finds herself the target of Newt Kiley's bull, and the Douglases' furniture is delivered to Mr. Haney's instead.
Fri. Jun 14th 5:30am
NEIGHBORLINESS
NEIGHBORLINESS: Oliver is frustrated because, among other problems, his new plow won't arrive in time for planting season. Uncle Joe has a solution that, naturally, benefits him as well. He charges farmers one dollar each to enter a plowing contest, promising them free lunch and big prizes. This is all news to Oliver as the neighbors on their tractors start descending on his farm.
Sat. Jun 15th 1:00pm
EB ELOPES
EB ELOPES: The Douglases find a note from Eb saying he's eloped. While he's on his honeymoon, his cousin Walter will cover his duties. Unfortunately, Walter's experience is limited to bartening at the old Stankwell Falls Lounge. This leads to more destruction than usual on the farm and everyone thinking Oliver's opening a cocktail lounge.
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